Does you mood ever go south for no discernable reason? If so, don't you just HATE that?
I sure do.
Today I arrived at work in a fine mood. And left in quite a crappy one, despite my best efforts to NOT be in a bad mood. My day was fine. Nobody made me angry or wronged me in any way. Nothing went particularly wrong. I didn't go to long without food, I didn't miss my morning dose of caffiene...so what is wrong with me? (And no, it's not PMS, either.)
The first half of my day was a little weird, I had a high school junior "shadow" me from 8-12 to learn about my job, to help her make career choices. But she was really pretty cool it was pretty neat to sit there and dispense my advice. For example: if your college offers an honors program, don't bother! Unless you're going to be working in the academic world where people might care, it's just a lot of extra effort for nothing, basically. You might disagree, but I went through the honors program in college and looking back, I would certainly not do it again.
ANYWAY, back on track: I've been wondering what my problem might be and while I think I know what it is, I don't know if I can put it into words very well. You know how some people are really great at something? Well, I just don't think I'm really great at anything. I don't mean just good, I mean really kick-butt awesome. I am constantly frustrated at work because I don't have the resources or the time to create pieces I'm really proud of. I've got to work hard to get out of this mindset, because when I found out I'd won some state press association awards for my work, I was disappointed I didn't win more, rather than be happy I won any at all. It isn't just work though. I'm sure you've notice my ongoing saga to have the perfectly neat and tidy house. If I achieved that type of perfection, we probably wouldn't be comfortable in our own home! And I've used that house-work bit as a reason/excuse not to scrapbook, but maybe I'm not scrapbooking because I think my pages won't be good enough.
I'm not sure how I ended up in this place where I think everyone else's "stuff" is better than mine, but it's so not me! I've never been one to think I'm "all that" but I've always had a healthy self-esteem. And I still do, but it's just got a few bruises, I think.
I feel better just getting that all out there in the open! It also helped that my wonderful mother-in-law made dinner for us and sent it home with Kenneth, so I got to spend the evening hanging out with him and Ashleigh. We had tons of fun, especially to Ashleigh's dancing! She's doing this whole booty bounce/shake her booty thing that is really cute. But now that she's in bed and I've gotten all this off my chest, I think I'll read a few pages in Michael Connely's "The Closers" before I go to sleep. And I'm going to have a great, good mood day tomorrow, darn it!!
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5 comments:
First of all, I can think of TWO things that you are GREAT at...being a mother, which you totally rock at, and being a friend, which you couldn't be any better.
As for the rest...it is so easy to compare ourselves and to feel like we come up lacking. I do it all the time too. I feel like my scrapbook pages aren't as good as some others, I feel that I can't do anything right at home, I feel like I'm nothing at work. So. You aren't alone!
We need to realize that though we may not be the BEST at anything, we certainly are fabulous at a whole lot of things. And it's good to be well-rounded :)
I can relate to this as well. It is so easy to think others are better at what they do then we are... but you know what.. I am positive 90% of the 'others' feel like someone else is better then they are. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. :( However, getting our brains to listen to this logic doesn't work so well sometimes.
I think you are a kick ass momma, and from the sounds of it --getting that award you are pretty damn kick ass at your job too!
If everyone was on the same level.. life sure would be boring!
I hope you feel better about things soon! {{Hugs}}
We need to do lunch sometime - maybe that will improve both our moods! E me and let me know how next week's schedule looks!
I am constantly feeling like this!
I hope it passes and you have a better day today! I think deep down everyone feels like this. You never feel good enough.
I think you should take some time out to scrapbook. You might take your mind off things and be really happy with the result.
Have a great day!
It's the late-winter "blahs". A lot of people get them. It'll get better...
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