Southernosity

OK, I got this in an e-mail and since most of it applies to me, I thought I'd post it on my blog!

-Only a Southerner knows the difference between a Hissy fit and a Conniption fit, and that while you can "have" them, you usually "pitch" them or "throw" them.

-Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

-Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

-Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in "Going to town, be back directly."

-Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. (Sometimes I tell Ashleigh to give me all her sugar, to give everyone else Splenda!)

-Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad (I prefer mac & cheese). If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! (or any cake or pie, really)

-Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

-Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

-No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

-A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. (No matter how hard I try, I can NOT stop saying fixin')

-Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

-Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

-Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all." (When someone refers to one person as y'all, it's a dead giveaway that they're an imposter!!!)

-Every Southerner knows that fried green tomatoes are absolutely wonderful.

-When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

-Only true Southerners say "sweet tea." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.

-And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

Kelley started a list of Southern sayings when she lived here-with definitions. You don't still have that, do you?

Something I say about my husband really blew her mind, and I'm sure I've heard it before, but maybe it's just me. Whenever he's in a bad mood, etc. I'll say he has his a** on his shoulders.

Here's another one my Grandma used to always say: "Drunk as Cooter Brown." I have no idea who Cooter was, but he obviously stayed extremely drunk all the time!