Feeling Out Of Control

{Just a little note to anyone who pays attention to the time of my posts--I screw with them regularly on purpose. Since I couldn't figure out how to take it off altogether, this was the next best thing, in my mind. If anyone can tell me how to turn the time stamp off--please do!}

I feel so out of control in so many ways.

Nothing "exciting" like drugs and alcohol, but in more mundane ways.

::I feel like I've become reactive rather than proactive.
::I've got to start living a healthier lifestyle. I'm not even comfortable in my own body anymore. I hate to leave the house because it requires getting dressed and that my friends, is an ordeal!
::I feel like my home is in chaos. Kenneth would disagree wholeheartedly, but we have different ideas of chaos:
-I can't find about half of my CDs
-I can't find one of my favorite purses
-My closet is not neat and tidy
-Many of the drawers in my home should be labeled "Open at your own risk!"
-I know that we have all sorts of crap that just needs to be thrown away or donated to good will.
-We need to take better control of our finances
-Things are neat and tidy on the surface-I need things below the surface to be the same!
::There are a few other things, but I don't feel it would be wise to go into them here, as I can't control who reads this

I need order. I need control. I need to find that calm centeredness that helps me keep my sanity and happiness.

Oh yeah...I need more time to blog too!

Wish me luck as I embark on this journey to find balance. And peace.